Guys, please consider the following and remember this piece of wisdom.

If after a long day, you are tired and looking forward to seeing your woman.

No matter how beautiful she is.....

No matter how sexy she is...

No matter how seductive she is...

No matter how cute and sweet she is...

No matter how huge her melons are......................

Shit, I forgot what I was going to say.

AN IRISH BLONDE IN A CASINO

Sorry this one is so late on St. Patty's day, but just had my first chance to sit at the computer today at 8:30 P.M. Central.

Anyway, I just got this emailed joke, and thought I would share.

Enjoy!


An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland arrived at the casino.. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice.
She said, I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude.

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed...YES! YES! I WON, I WON!

She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, 'What did she roll?
The other answered,
'I don't know - I thought you were watching.

MORAL OF THE STORY -

Not all Irish are drunks,
not all blondes are dumb,
but all men...are men.

Looking winter in the eye and laughing at it, because crying won't get me riding any sooner.

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blond catches up. She jumps out
of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.
.

The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and
you are losing some of your load."
.

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.
.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again.
She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door.
.

Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the
blond says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some
of your load!"
.

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the
street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again.
.

All out of breath, the blond gets out of her car, runs up, knocks
on the truck door. The trucker rolls d own the window. Again she
says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
.

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next
light.
.

When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and
runs back to the blond. He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says........"Hi, My name is Mark, it's winter in Minnesota and I'm driving the
SALT TRUCK!"

Sven & Olie

Since my last post was about the change of seasons, hot and cold, and since Joker made the comment that we all talk funny here in the Midwest, this joke could not be more fitting.

Sven and Ole join an outlaw motorcycle club, and get drunker than skunks. They die in a motorcycle accident and go to Hell.

The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves.

He says to them 'Doesn't the heat and smoke bother you?'

Ole replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve're from nordern Minnesooota, da land of

snow an ice, an ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya

know.'

The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the

heat even more. When he returns to the room of the two guys from Minnesota ,

the devil finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling Walleye and

drinking beer. The devil is astonished and exclaims, 'Everyone down here is

in misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves?'

Sven replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve don't git too much varm veather up dere

at da Falls, so ve've yust got ta haff a fish fry vhen da veather's dis

nice.'

The devil is absolutely furious. He can hardly see straight. Finally he

comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been

cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in Hell.

The next morning, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are hanging

everywhere, and people are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail,

moan or gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with Ole

and Sven. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats,

and mittens. They are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming

like mad men.

The devil is dumbfounded, 'I don't understand, when I turn up the heat

you're happy. Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. What is wrong

with you two?'

They both look at the devil in surprise and say, 'Vell, don't ya know, if

hell iss froze over, dat must mean da Vikings von da Super Bowl!

A little bipartisan political humor.

One Liner Biker Wit

Rule of thumb........ When you are working on your motorcycle, and your hands are all full of grease, it is then that your nose will itch, and you'll have to pee.

biker joke

God and the Biker

.
A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, 'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.

.

'The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'

.

The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. I want you to take a little more time and see if you can think of something that could possibly help all mankind instead.'

.

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know what she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.'

.

The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?

.

Biker joke

Friendship among regular folks:

.

A man didn't come home one night.

The next morning he told his significant other that he had slept over at a friend's house.

The woman called his 10 best friends.

None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship among Bikers:

.

A biker didn't come home one night.

The next morning he told his significant other that he had slept over at a friend's house.

The woman called The biker's 10 best friends.

Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.

.

Biker Joke ....... What's in a name?

A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man standing alone.

She approached him and introduced herself as Carmen.

“That's a beautiful name,” he replied. “Is it a family name?”

“No,” she replied. “I gave it to myself. It reflects the things in life I like most - cars and men.”

“What's your name?” she asked.

He said, “Harley Titsenbeer”. “Nice to meet you”.

One liner biker wit.

Bikers have more fun than people do!

Good biker joke

HOW TO STOP CHURCH GOSSIP

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose in to other people's business.

Several members did not approve of her extracurricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

One day Mildred made a mistake.
She accused Frank, a biker, and a new member of the church of being an alcoholic after she saw his Harley parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.

She emphatically told Frank and several others that everyone seeing his motorcycle parked in front of the bar during the daytime hours would know what he was doing.

Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment shook his head, hopped on his bike and rode away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny... he said nothing.

Later that evening, Frank quietly pushed his Harley in front of Mildred's house... walked home.... and left it there all night.

You gotta love a biker!

A preview into the weekend, and a Friday Funny

If weather permits, I'll be going on my first biker run of the season. I missed the first big one here this year due to cruddy weather. I will do my best to get some good pictures and post them next week sometime. I don't typically post on the weekends, so untill next week, I give you my Friday Funny.







I've got a pretty good biker joke that a friend sherry Hoskins from Stormy Custom Bike Works shared with me.


The gynecologist:

A gynecologist had become fed up with high cost of malpractice insurance and was on the verge of being burned out. Hoping to find another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to make a major career change and become a Harley mechanic. He found out from the local community college what was involved, signed up for classes and learned all he could. When the time for the practical exam approached, the former gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had scored 150%. He called the instructor, saying "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wondered if there was an error." The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You also put the engine back together perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark." The instructor went on to say, "I gave you that extra 50% because you did all of it through the muffler."